will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
