We're facebook friends in real life
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
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