why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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