i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
