Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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