Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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