What did we do last night that was yellow?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
