I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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