I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
