Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
