Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
