Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
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