Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Randomize
