What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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