google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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