i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
