My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
