saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
