That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
