we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
