Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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