oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
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