Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
