i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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