well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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