i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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