How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
