I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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