I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
