these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
