Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
