He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
