You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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