you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
