Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
There r osticjed everywhere
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
