WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
her vagine was all disorganized.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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