I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
