She announced her abortion via fbk
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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