yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm passing your future prison.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Randomize
