I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
