Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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