just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
