I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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