It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
