wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
