let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
