he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
