today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
