I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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