dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
